Pete's Ancient and rarely updated
D-land Journal

They were not "lizard" babies!!!

Journal Entry entered: 2000-11-14 - 02:06:19

Grumble grumble.... Tried to update this yesterday but accidently closed the browser window and lost my entry. So now we�re doing it the tried and true way on my trusty Macintosh and I will later entrust it to the corruption of PCs.

Anyway, I had been discussing the biology of my species when things went Area 51 on me. I had begun by talking about general appearance and other such differences, but someone I know brought up the Lizard Babies incident and... geez! Can�t folks just let that drop???

Okay, it happened... there was this spicy Italian... things got carried away, and I discovered that, with the right combination of planetary conjunctions and sexual positions, there seems to be as level of compatability between our species. Who�da thunk it?

But they were NOT lizards! They were saurian... sort of! My species is a warm blooded species similar to certain species of dinosaur that once existed here.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered that somehow there was a compatability! Now that is an interesting discovery! It almost certainly means some form of ancient connection between our worlds. I don�t know how you feel about that, but after seeing how you folks ahve developed... I have to admit it sort of disappoints me.

No, the kids aren�t still around. Our species hatches from eggs nurtured by the host member of our species (three sexes... it gets rather complicated...just don�t worry about it). My poor pups were traumatized by the barbaric birth process you mammals use and never really recovered. I tell people they passed on, but they in truth dwell quietly in the San Francisco Zoo looking for all the world like oddly coloured monitor lizards.

Anyway... that�s the story, without many gory details. She who bore the pups thankfully believes it was all a dream, some weird fantasy generated by her mind (I�m told that�s what dreams are... I�m still not sure I understand those.)

Anyway, back to the description I�ll never get to if I keep rambling on like this. Bipedal, with greenish blue skin. Our skin is scaled, but the scales are soft and supple, quite pleasant to the touch (or so I am told). Since this would look a little peculiar I habitually wear a prosthetic skin (available in most higher quality starship survival kits) that gives me a pinkish tan colour and has little bits of fur on it here and there. Itchy but better than dissection.

Our eyes look something like yours but the internal structure is different. We can see well in the dark and we receive more and different wavelengths of light and therefore experience different colours than you do. Thus, if you see me dressed in clothes that clash horribly... that�s just your vision... it looks cool to me!

We only have four digits on our hands and feet, an opposable digit as well as three other claws. The prosthetic kit provides a variety of extra digits that look fairly convincing, so I use those to make my hands look like a human�s.

Well, this isn�t a terribly amusing or exciting entry, but then it�s biology... for it to be exciting we�d need to be in the same room!

Until next time... perhaps I�ll discuss something more interesting... or maybe I�ll start listing the freaks I�ve met whilst stranded here.

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Warren's list of words that monkeys use to annoy him by misspelling, misusing, or mispronouncing them (the list will most assuredly grow)

Misspellings

COMING (typically mispelled "comming")
TONGUE (typically mispelled "tounge")

Confused spellings

HERE vs. HEAR (the former is a place word; the latter is what you do when a sound hits your ear)
IT'S vs. ITS (the former is a contracted form of IT IS; the latter is a possessive form of the impersonal pronoun IT)
LOSING vs. LOOSING (the former is what you are doing if you are not winning; the latter is what you are doing when you let the lions out of the lion pen at the zoo, you are "loosing them" or "setting them loose").
POUR vs. PORE vs. POOR (the first is what you do to get milk from the carton into the glass; the second is a small opening in a surface, such as those in your skin that sweat comes out of (... don't write poetry if you don't know your English, you just look sad). The third, a state of having little or no money, is rarely confused with the other two).
ROGUE vs. ROUGE (The former is a person who might also be described as a rascal, scoundrel or cad; the latter is make-up that one uses to add a bit of a blush to one's cheeks.)
THEY'RE vs. THEIR vs. THERE (the first is a contraction of THEY ARE; the next is a possessive form of THEY; the last denotes place or location)
TO vs. TOO vs. TWO (the first is a function word indicating movement, direction, proximity, intention, addition: "I'm going to the store" or "Add this to the pile" or "How close is the house to the road"; the second one sort of adds quantity, often of the excessive sort, to a concept: "Too many reptiles" or "I'm coming, too"; the last represents the number 2.)
WHERE vs. WEAR vs. -WARE vs. WERE- (the first references place or location; the second is either a verb, noun, or suffix relating to clothing or other adornments [example: wearing footwear] OR a noun or verb relating to the effect of exposure or useage or corrosion [wear and tear]; the third is a suffix that indicates that something is a class of some sort [hardware, software, flatware, wetware]; the fourth is a prefix used to attach the disease of Lycanthropy to a person or animal, i.e: werewolf, wererat, weretiger. Finally, although pronounced differently, "WERE" is also a past tense of are or to be.)
YOU'RE vs. YOUR vs. YORE (the former is a contraction of YOU ARE, the middle is a possessive form of YOU, and the latter is a reference to another, undefined era in the past: "Days of yore.)

Mispronunciations

ASK [ask'] ("axe" is something used for chopping wood or the action of chopping something with an axe).
CAN [kahn] (it should not be pronounced as [kehn]). Thanks, Ken.
CAVALRY [kah'-val-ree] ("Calvary" is a mountain that is prominant {pun intended} in the Bible, not a military unit that rides on horses... or these days on tanks and Hum-Vees).
DONDER [don'-der] ("Donner" was the name of a party of travellers that got stuck in the mountains and ate each other, not the name of one of Santa's eight little reindeer).
ESCAPE [es-kayp'] ("excape" simply sounds dumb).
ESPRESSO [es-pres'-oh] (it is NOT "eXpresso," pinheads. Thanks, Mischief.
HUNDRED [hun'-dred] (it's not "hun'-erd" nor "hun'-red"). Thanks, Rachel.
INSURANCE [in-sure'-ense] (it is NOT "in'-sure-ense"! In English, the second to last syllable is the one that gets the emphasis except when asking a question, when the LAST syllable is accented... never the third to last!!!)
JEWELRY [jew'-el-ree] (it's not "joo-lah-ree" or "joo-luh-ree", stoner!) Thanks, again Rachel.
LIBRARY [lie-brayr'-ee] (there's no such thing as a "lie-berry", people!)
NUCLEAR [new-klee'-er] ("nuke-yuh-ler" is incorrect, Homer! Same goes for you, Dubya!!!)
OFTEN [aw'-fen] (the pretentious will insist on saying "awf'-Ten" but that is an archaic form and no more appropriate than saying "thee" and "thou" in colloquial English)
RIPON [rih'-pin] (so very many people pronounce this "rih-pon' " or "ripe'-on" that it gets on the nerves of anyone who has ever lived or gone to school there! Thanks Rachel K.
VIOLA [vi-o'-la] (the musical instrument is pronounced "vee-ola" but the flower and the woman's name is pronounced with an "eye", not an "ee")Thanks, Viola.

Pete's Ancient and rarely updatedD-land Journal

Pete's Ancient and rarely updated
D-land Journal